Why does something MASSIVE and really BAD needs to happen first BEFORE you’re really spurred into action. This wake-up call – which often catches you by surprise – shakes up things and SUDDENLY makes you very eager to make a change. It’s like this emotional threshold that is finally been met and you say to yourself: NO MORE.
Why? Simply put, you don’t want to end up in this situation again or you want to get out of it as quickly as possible. In these moments, you’re suddenly willing (instead of being aversive) to take a risk and step outside of your comfort zone and do something with your life. Do something about these problems that were playing in the back of your mind for so long. So why’s that? Why can’t we have this energy ALL the time to be motivated to ACT and do something? Why do you need to wait to feel this lousy pain first?
You might not have thought about it in this way, but although PAIN is actually a very big force in your life that you purposefully try to avoid it can ALSO be a force that gives you that welcome nudge that you so desperately needed.
Pain or fear comes in many levels and shapes
People experience fear and pain in a different way because it’s their perception of reality. Their belief. Some people have a fear of spiders, others simply giggle about the thought. Some people have a strong fear of embarrassment, disapproval, rejection or humiliation, other people simply seem not be bothered by it that much. Grief, the pain of losing a loved one, can last years for someone whereas others deal with it far quicker. Boredom or anxiety is also a level of pain we all experience, be it at a lower level of intensity.
This pain doesn’t need to be big to someone else, but it has painful for you. It’s YOUR perception of reality. It’s you who stuck with it and has to deal with it. You suddenly lose someone you love, someone calls you fat and unfit, you fail to withdraw money from the cash machine, you partner breaks up with you, or you wake up with a banging headache after a night out. You feel shit and think shit man, no way THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN. I’m going to DO something about.
Because the fear of loss is much greater than the desire to gain – roughly two-to-one – pain is a very powerful force that you can actually use in your advantage. A force you can push you over the edge, making that slightly scary decision that pops up in your mind every now and then. That decision that you keep putting off because you’re too anxious to do something about it.
The trick is to learn how to use pain to become your friend, your ally, rather than your adversary. When pain becomes your friend, it drives you to take ACTION and produces RESULTS.
INCREASE THE LEVEL OR INTENSITY OF YOUR PAIN
You might be feeling bored, anxious, uncomfortable or worried right now, but this is simply not enough. This won’t get you anywhere because it hasn’t brought you anywhere so far, has it?
By bringing up the level and intensity of the fear or the pain, you’re more likely to do something about your situation right now. Realise this isn’t actual pain but the fear that something leads to pain. There’s a striking difference between the two. In the end, it’s all about your perception. Your belief, your sense of certainty something will happen. This in the Instagram filter you’re unconsciously using in which you see the world. So, tweak this fear-filter in your advantage.
Once you’re happy with your list, make sure you get reminded by it, ideally on a daily basis. Stick it on your fridge, or hang it up on the inside of your front door so you’re reminded by it once you go out. Don’t run away from it, don’t be ashamed of it, but instead use it as a guide and treat it as your newly acquired friend.
GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN!